Once, while enjoying the photos of a very fun boudoir session, the client suddenly stared, rather quizzically, at Elaine and I: “Eh, I was supposed to only come for a casual shoot. How did I end up taking off my clothes??” And the three of us went into perpetual stitches.

As comical as it sounds, Elaine and I have never taken this lightly, for it speaks of the immense faith that clients have in us.

I didn’t start as a boudoir photographer, though. In 2002, I quit a super-comfy IT job to become a wedding photographer. It was a very successful time, and I made many brides and grooms very happy, especially with my pre-wedding portraits. But I was bothered because there was so much focus on perfection and on the gowns, poses, backdrops… everything but the real person. I wondered if my photographs could be simplified with just a simple outfit, maybe a soft drape over the body, without any heavy makeup. Would I be able to portray the person in a way that, when you look at the photos, you’ll feel, “I am beautiful!” instead of “I look so beautiful in this gown”?

My first boudoir shoot wasn’t that difficult. I asked a couple who just did a pre-wedding shoot with me, and it was smooth and very fun. It was the next one. I was inexperienced, and when the shoot started, the client removed her clothes in front of me and I started to panic. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to run away but I just found myself having to deal with it. I learnt from there that nude photography isn’t just about shooting a woman’s curves. It demands a lot more than skill and artistry.

I thought clients simply wanted to remember how good they look. I expected good-looking bodies, with curves in all the right places, but in reality the curves are all over the place. Some come for the novelty. But most are past their primes. Many are in their 40s and 50s, and the oldest into her 70s. Many bear scars, and a weight beneath their looks.

There was a woman who came with her husband, family, and a life support machine. She couldn’t do more than a few shots without going breathless. I cannot describe the emotion in words. Yet, I kept telling myself that I must remain professional, that I have to still enjoy, so that she enjoys too, and perhaps that can ease the pain. I cannot forget how happy she was when we went to the hospital and showed her the photos. A few weeks later, she passed on. 

I realised, then, that my work meant something.

In portraiture, we have the opportunity to empathise, to go beyond small talk into meaningful conversation. After all, there is a real person in front of us, and within us all is a secret wish to be understood. In a boudoir session, that person is at her most vulnerable, and the most respectful thing to do is to express her beauty with the dignity she deserves. It is a privilege I will cherish for life.